Print Page - Sunday Times Clarkson 15th June

How about this from Clarksons article in todays Sunday Times

" If I were to walk round a modern-day motor show featuring all the latest cars with all their clever electronic gizmos,there might be one, or maybe two, that I'd think seriously of buying.
While walking round a field in Leicestershire recently, I found about 200 cars that I'd gladle swapped one of my kidneys for. There were a few I'd have swapped my heart for.
It was the Auto Italia festival, an event at which thousands of car enthusiasts spend the day demonstrating who is best with a vacuum cleaner. They even have a competition to see who has the cleanest car. It is ridiculous.
If you delve behind the preposterously laquered paint and Mr Sheened dashboards, however you are left with acre after acre of machinery that will leave you breathless with desire,I wanted everything.
And i'm not talking here about fields full of Ferraris. Mostly they were crummy 348's ,which had wooden tyres and suspension made from old pianos. Nor was I overly bothered by the Lambos either. Owning a Countach or a Diablo is just another way of saying that you are deformed.
No, the stuff that blew my trousers off was the humdrum 1970s cars from Fiat,Alfa Romeo and most of all ,suprisingly Lancia.
Let us begin our romp down the autostrada of yesteryear with the Lancia Montecarlo. Early models were plagued with a tendancy to lock up their front brakes and so Lancia took the unusual step of removing it from production while the problem was addressed. A year passed and everyone assumed the little sports car had gone for good. But no. Lancia then re released it, saying it had cured the problem by removing the servo. In other words, it has simply made the back crakes perform as badly as those at the front.. Brilliant.
Providing you never want to stop, you can buy a Montecarlo these days in the UK ,in good condition for about €6,500. And for that you get a 2 litre twin cam mid engined sports car with if you want it , a canvas folding roof,tweed seats and looks that could melt a girls face. I decided after 10 minutes that I didn't want one at all. I needed one. It was even more pressing than my next breath. I even started offering one owner some money and then when that didn't work, some quiet threats. Look, I whispered,This car will be no good to you if you have lost your legs. And you will sunshine, if you don't sell it to me.
His dignity was saved because,while threatening to burn his house down, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a selection of Fulvias. By modern standards, the Lancia Fulvia is not much to write home about. It has carthorse suspension at the back, a setup thats weirdly complicated at the front and a 1.6 litre V4 engine thta,in the HF develops just 115hp. Fast? Well yes, but only if you are a visiting Victorian or used to driving a Motability shopping scooter.
However ,they are balls achingly pretty and one of the show cars belonged to an old mate . hello John ,I said cheerily but with a hint of Stanislavski menace, Would you like to sell me your car or would you like me to stab you in the throat and get the crowd to cheer as you gout arterial blood everywhere?. because those are your only choices.
Happily,from his point of view, I realised that I was actually leaning on the bonnett of a Delta Integrale at the time. And I decided that what Ireally wanted , more than anything in the world,was this ludicrous , left hand drive superstar from the original Sega Rally machine.
Of course people with blazers will explain that Lancias are old rot boxes and fellto pieces long before anyone had a chance to drive them to the shops. But having driven across Botswana in a Beta last year I can assure you this is bunkum.
A classic Lancia will have no more problems than a classic Mercedes. Automotive time is a great leveller."

Lancia Motor Club

General => Press/Media: Lancias mentioned, seen or wanted! => Topic started by: eyore on 15 June, 2008, 11:37:36 AM