In the sole interest of objectivity I believe cars should be issued based on the following criteria (in order of decreasing importance)
1) time spent online = devotion to duty
2) topics started = capacity to cause uproar or dissent
3) user names beginning with any of following letters L.A.N.C.I.A.S.
A club trophy could be awarded annually for the ordinary member that scores best in these regards.It could be called " the least time actually behind the steering wheel of a lancia award"
(do I get an bonus car for this?)