Not to be outdone (even if outclassed) by the industry and skill of our Welsh neighbours in the restoration and repair of Lancias, the Irish contingent set about celebrating the recent national festive weekend in a similar, if somewhat opposite, fashion.....
As it is a general condition of the planning permission for my Lancia shed (and also a marital constraint) that all the Lancias and stuff must happen on the
inside of the shed which is already quite crowded ...
... it was necessary to make room for a recent new arrival. This one is what we call a "swimmer" - LHD, no papers or plates, etc. It was reportedly surrendered by its Italian lady owner to a reputable Fiat dealership in exchange for something more modern in the Irish-Italian line. As it was obviously tarnishing the dealer's reputation and lowering the tone of the forecourt it was quickly shipped out the back gate into the willing hands of the Lancia underworld community. Apparently the first Irish owner was accosted by the law on his maiden voyage home from the Fiat dealership and so it became necessary to prove it was not his car by quickly offloading it within the Lancia brotherhood ... and for the price of a set of part-worn tyres, how could I refuse?
I have some experience of making space for more Lancias - the Fessia design means there really isn't much going on aft of the dashboard .... so if full dismantling isn't necessary (dismantled cars take up even more space than whole ones!) it makes sense to keep the main bits intact until needed. This was actually my first Lancia in 1984 and in our family since 1978. I've never turned the key on one of these 2-wheelies but I wonder if you did ....
Anyhow, work started on something more "angular" that was already lying around outside the shed. Dismantling cars to re-cycling standards like is no joke - it took me two days to take this Y10 apart before I could start chopping up the carcase ... easier and cheaper to just give it away whole but I wanted (some) of the parts.
Here's the back end of that red Fulvia I chopped up before and there are a few bits of other cars on top of the pile - I flattened the Fulvia sections with a digger.
And finally to the subject of today's main chopping event ... in my enthusiasm I forgot to take a "before" picture. This 2000 Coupe is called
Barney 'cos that's where he spent most of his time while in my ownership. Bought sight-unseen on eBay from a character in Sutton-in-Ashfield (never forget it) near Nottingham, I got a bit of a shock when I turned up to collect it. I had already been let down by the main purpose of the trip to the UK which was to collect another equally bad eBay purchase - a decrepit car transporter dolly from somewhere near Southampton. I really only bought Barney in Nottingham as a Lancia to bring home to justify the nonsense of the trip and ferry cost of collecting the dolly in the first place.
Like I said, I have some experience of this. Just pull the wiring loom through from the boot and you're ready to go (removing roof gutters and door sill trims is optional). Cut the exhaust - in this case, just aft of the very long manifold pipe thing which extends further back than the gearlever - then pick your line of least resistance to cut the floor. I leave the roof and a few bits of floor in place 'til last so the thing doesn't collapse while cutting..... then just "support, lift and separate"
At this stage I had an idea .... isn't this how they make limos? Just lengthen and strengthen the sills ....
Then add a new floor and a few comfy seats ....
... wasn't there a name for those early 1900s cars where the owners sat inside a saloon and the driver sat out in the rain? Later I had another idea .... maybe a bi-motore limo?
But soon it was time to tidy up the tools and put all the Lancias back to bed inside the shed. Losing 9 feet off the back of this car at the back door made enough room to let the new arrival in the front!
